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The Mischke Broadcast Archives

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5 | Page 6 | Page 7 | Page 8 | Page 9 | Page 10 | Page 11 | Page 12 | Page 13 | Page 14 | Page 15 | Complete Mischke Broadcasts

In this area, you will find a complete listing of all previous postings.  Enjoy!

Serving the Ideal Customer Wendy's Restaurants have a motto that is a little different than most.  Rather than concentrating on serving up the ideal product -- it turns out they are more interested in serving the ideal customer. 2:20

Ted's Head Tommy and John Heidt discuss the odd and wondrous journey of Ted William's head. 2:15

The Maharishi University of Management  Mischke imagines what it must be like for the business execs. that have to attend the Maharishi University of Management. 11:42

The Affable Alex Little five year old Alex calls in with some exciting news -- he's got a brand new baby sister!!  Trouble is, sister had kind of a rough birth, but even so -- Mommy is already out galavanting about the town.  This is a newly discovered clip from around ten years ago, but give a listen.  I'm 99% sure this is the same kid as heard in the classic "Campground Terrorist" bit. 8:13

The Lone Gunman Newsman Johnny Heidt is under the belief that only one lone gunman was behind the assassination of John F. Kennedy.  This astounds Mischke to no end.  Tom believes there was a vast conspiracy to kill Kennedy and he does his best to convince Johnny of the awful truth. 14:21

Virginia's Near Death Experience Our old friend Virginny calls in to relay the story of her near death experience. 7:13

Murder and Mayhem in Music While sitting around the studio one afternoon, Mischke, John Heidt and High Speed Chase try to figure out just when music went bad.  How did we go from lyrics like "My sugar pie honeybunch" to the sort of thing we have in today's rock and rap? 9:10

Look Out -- He's Gay! The United States has a new ambassador in Luxembourg and -- oh-oh -- he's gay! 3:43

Diaper Man There's a fellow who likes to go into convenience store bathrooms, strip down and then comes out wearing nothing but a diaper.  He's not robbing the stores -- he just comes out of the restroom in his diaper and then leaves.  But,this is obviously a serious sex crime and is not to be taken lightly! 4:41

The Green Green Grass of Home Undertaker Fred is familiar with almost all of the musical classics.  Over his many years of calling in to the Mischke Broadcast, he almost always closes out his call with a classic number from years gone by.   That's why when Mischke brings up "Green Green Grass of Home", he is almost stunned beyond belief when Fred admits that he is completely unaware of the song. 9:10

Infants in Elevators Injuries are rare when using the elevator -- but unfortunately, when they do occur -- it is almost always the babies that take the brunt of the abuse. 2:23

Norway Checking In Roald checks in to the Broadcast with an exciting call -- or I should say with the most exciting call possible for a man of Norwegian descent! 3:52

Police Pranks Wildcat Fox and Mischke discuss some of the hilarious pranks they've pulled involving the police. 4:00

Soot Oddly enough, it turns out that one of America's most pressing issues is dealing with the obnoxious amount of soot that we have.  For cripes sake, it's laying around all over the place! 4:26

The House of Clocks Tommy starts this particular commercial like a pro, but things suddenly take a sharp turn into the land of the weird.  At times, he almost makes it back to the actual ad, but then -- just as quickly -- he ends up back out in left field. Yes, it's an odd ad, but I think it certainly helps you remember the good old House of Clocks. 4:48

The Photo Every war has its famous photo.  For instance, who could ever forget that photo from the Vietnam War -- the photo that shows the naked girl running away from the Napalm attack.  Unfortunately, Mischke thinks he's found the photo that sums up our current war -- the War in Iraq. 8:48

The Summit Sample Pack Mischke puts out a classic ad for Summit beer. 1:25

Thermometer Troubles Tommy conducts an interesting interview with the official National Weather Observer for the town of Embarrass, MinnesotaFor those listeners not familiar with this part of the country, Embarrass is a small town in Northern Minnesota that is notorious for being one of the coldest spots in the country. 9:31

Winning the Audience Over At times, for some odd reason, the Mischke Broadcast has had troubles keeping its listeners. 1:36

The Obituary of the Evening (VIDEO) If you follow this link, you'll see a nice little video put together by an avid Mischke fan.  She took some audio from a 1995 broadcast and then took the time to painstakingly match it up with some appropriate photos.  The end result brings a nice new dimension to a classic Mischke bit -- excellent work Cassandra! 2:51

Halloween at the Mischke Home It's that time of year again and Halloween will be here before you know it.  This year, I highly recommend that you steer clear of the Mischke household... 1:06

Mayhem at the Minnesota State Fair 2007 brought quite a few changes to the Mischke Broadcast.  That was the year the Twins began broadcasting out of KSTP and it was also the first year that the Mischke Broadcast finally made an appearance at the Minnesota State Fair!  For the prior 13 years, Mischke had remained hidden away -- deep in some corner of the KSTP studios.  2007 was the first time Mischke had ever aired his show live from the fair and -- amazingly -- he performed live from the fairgrounds for the entire run of the fair! 10:05

Podcast Pandemonium Johnny Heidt hits the airwaves to do a little news, but -- oddly enough -- someone else is already there -- and that someone else is already doing the news... 3:24

Grandma Grandma calls in to the broadcast with a little story to tell.  A little story with a few details, or maybe a lot of details -- or maybe a story with every single possible detail included in the story! 7:01

A Sick Call Mortuary Bob calls in with what literally turns out to be one of the "sickest" calls ever aired on the Broadcast. 4:12

Gateway Cycling When Tommy goes biking, he likes to think he has the run of the road.  Pedestrians, old people and the handicapped better take heed now -- when Tommy hits the streets -- everything is fair game. 4:40

Noddin' Bin Laden A British woman marries the son of Osama Bin Laden and --as you might guess -- this leads to some rather awkward questions from both friends and family alike. 4:50

Dickhead The folks in charge of marketing the war on drugs have come up with a brand new (and rather interesting) campaign slogan... 6:16

Good Samaritan Gone Awry Mischke reads a news story about a guy who goes out of his way to help his fellow man -- and then ends up getting robbed for his efforts.  This makes Tom wonder just how good of a deed you have to do to insure that you don't become the victim of a crime afterwards. 5:35

Hell on Earth Virginia calls in to discuss (at great length) her "happy childhood" --  which she can only describe as "Hell on Earth".  When you hear about her rough start to life, it helps to give you a little insight into why most of her calls revolve around depressing topics. This particular call is also quite interesting because you learn a few things about Mischke that you probably never would have guessed... 8:26

His Goose is Cooked Some poor fellow calls in to the Broadcast and encourages Tommy to give a call to one of his fellow co-workers.  Tommy obliges and gives the co-worker a call, but lets just say that she's none too happy and there's going to be hell to pay! 6:49 
Special Note:  This sound clip covers two different time frames.  The first part of  the clip involves the original call.  Then, several months pass and we learn what ultimately happened as Tommy is broadcasting live from the fair and happens to run across the original caller.

The Death Cat A spooky cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are about to die. 3:33

A Shaky Operation For some odd reason, people are quite concerned about an eye surgeon -- an eye surgeon that just happens to suffer from a severe case of hand tremors. 2:32

Happy News with Heidt According to T.D. Mischke, newsman Johnny Heidt delivers only one kind of news -- and that's "happy news".  It doesn't matter if Johnny is telling you about a new ride at the fair or if he's telling you about the mass murder of a family out in Hastings -- he delivers all of his news stories in the exact same way.  Mischke describes that style as "happy news" and he's more than a little disturbed. 3:25

Gateway Cycling Mischke would greatly appreciate it if you would pay a visit to Gateway Cycling.  Trouble is, they're only open for another 70 seconds or so...  You might have to push it, but it's well worth the effort. 2:56

Krampus It's Christmas time again, so Mischke feels obligated to warn you about Santa's sick and twisted evil sidekick -- Krampus. 10:17

I Wasn't Doing Anything Wrong! Yet another story about an innocent, angelic model citizen who is roughed up and traumatized by the police for absolutely no reason at all! 9:21

Caring for the Kids  Tommy and John Heidt share some heartwarming stories that help stress the importance of child safety. 4:06

I'm Not Gay Larry Craig thought life couldn't get much worse for a fella -- what with all the gay rumors.  But then along comes one Mr. Mitt Romney and guess what?  Life got worse. 4:50

Let's Do Lunch Mischke invites a caller to join him for lunch and before you know it, you're suddenly hearing the oddest story about quaalude parties, crop dusters and criminal activities. 7:31

The Fisherman's Indulgence A fisherman tries to convince his buddy that they should indulge themselves with the world's most expensive dessert. 3:10

Wisconsin Government Shuts Down Mischke imagines what life would be like in Wisconsin, if the Wisconsin state government were to shut down.  Oddly enough, it's not that much different than your average run of the mill day in Packerland. 6:01

The Playground Pervert John calls in to talk about his time spent all alone in a city park -- late at night -- in the dark -- hiding in the shadows... 3:08

No Woman No Cry Mischke and Heidt dissect that reggae classic, "No Woman No Cry". 9:14

Abe the Babysitter Years ago, it was tough for a United States President to get by on just the one job.  He sometimes had to have a side job, just to make ends meet. 2:49

Hearse Hijinks As a hearse pulls up to collect a dead body, Tommy suddenly decides this would be a great time to pull a practical joke. 7:14

The Deer Hunter Mischke discusses his plans for this year's hunting trip. 1:35

A Sissy Doesn't Eat His Buddy Tommy's having an innocent conversation with John Heidt and Jim Souhan when he suddenly manages to firmly plant his foot, directly into his mouth. 14:44

The Oddest Interview This Side of Bangladesh Mischke is interviewing a fellow about the sale of a baseball card, when an odd thing happens.  A rather mundane, average interview takes a sudden turn into the land of the bizarre. 23:43

Bonnie Jean For those familiar with the very early years of the Mischke Broadcast, you're bound to remember this lady.  Bonnie Jean was a happy-go-lucky 77 year old that wasn't afraid to suck back a smoke or two or maybe even forty-seven -- but hey -- who's counting??!  During this particular call, Bonnie Jean was celebrating her 77th birthday and predicting that she had many years left in her.  Maybe she did, but maybe she didn't.  This was one of the last calls Bonnie Jean ever made to the broadcast -- way back in 1999. 10:02

Special Note: If anyone out there has some recordings of the show that Tom Mischke and Don Vogel used to put out together, I would love to grab a copy if at all possible I was a big fan of The Afternoon Saloon and never got the chance to hear Tommy and Don working together I think that must have been an incredible show Just click on this webmaster link to send me an e-mail.

Or, if you'd rather just talk to Mischke about some of the sound bytes above, or about weather in Buckman, Minnesota, or about how grass makes a different sound when you walk on it at varying temperatures, or just about anything else--you can click on the T.D. Mischke link to send him an e-mail.