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The Mischke Broadcast Archives

Page 1 | Page 2 | Page 3 | Page 4 | Page 5 | Page 6 | Page 7 | Page 8 | Page 9 | Page 10 | Page 11 | Page 12 | Page 13 | Page 14 | Page 15 | Complete Mischke Broadcasts

In this area, you will find a complete listing of all previous postings.  Enjoy!

The Mischke Poem This is the infamous poem that first aired many, many years ago, when Mischke's old college roommate called in to present his masterpiece. Tom was so impressed with the piece, that he had his friend come in to the studios to record the nice clean version we have all become so familiar with. This very poem inspired an extremely odd call that you can find at the top of Page 3 of the Mischke Broadcast Archives -- Loopy Lorna. 2:34

Eleven-Eleven In a few short days, we shall be coming up on the eleventh day of the eleventh month. I am a number eleven freak and shall be celebrating at 11:11 on 11/11. The number eleven is quite meaningful and not something to be taken lightly. 1:06

Hawk or Dove -- Really the Same Thing With the death of the 2,000th soldier in Iraq -- it seems to be a good time to revisit the debate that took place before America invaded Iraq. At the time, the United States was amassing troops in the Middle East and the hawks and doves of the world were battling over what should be done. Mischke makes the argument that the hawks and doves appear to be at complete odds -- but they are actually on the same side and are much more alike than different. 6:43

Busted! Mischke makes one of his infamous calls to the operator, but this time, the tables are turned on Tommy. 1:35

R. F. Moeller Madness This is a series of R.F. Moeller ads where each one builds on the prior storyline. As usual, Mischke's ads are always a cut above the rest, but these particular ads are even better than usual. In fact, I think the very last ad is the best one Mischke has ever produced. 7:17

Mischke's Still on Drugs Tom confirms a caller's suspicions. 0:45

Fred and Joe Undertaker Fred has called into the Broadcast 4,387 times. Joe has called in 1,159 times. But this was one of the rare times where they were both on the air together -- and that makes for an interesting call! 16:25

What if Frosty Were Hitler?! Mischke muses over the question that has been on all of our minds for years. 1:11

Worms Love the Hook Turns out that those worms you see squirming on the hook -- well -- they feel no pain. In fact, they kind of dig being stuck on a hook. No, in fact, worms love the hook! 4:31

The Untimely Demise of Terry Anderson Years before Nancy Fox's tenure as the news lady, Mischke used to have another regular news lady with the name Terry Anderson. One listener didn't realize Terry had left the station, so she called in to see what was going on. Of course, Tom couldn't just tell the caller that Terry had moved on. He had to make up a sick, twisted, freakish story about what happened and why we wouldn't be hearing from Terry anymore. 1:16

Janet Spanks Georgie George W. Bush gets more than he bargained for when he took on the job of being President of the United States of America. 1:23

God's Giant Geese In prehistoric times, we had lots of freakish, giant creatures running around -- including gigantic geese that weighed over a half-a-ton apiece. Mischke imagines what it must have been like when God told Adam about the nightmarish creatures, just beyond the Gates of Eden. 2:57

Blackjack Tom interrupts the Broadcast to play a little Blackjack. 2:46

I'm Retarded Mischke closes out a program with a couple of interesting callers and we learn that Mischke was a slow learner as a kid. 5:49

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald In this sound byte, Mischke describes how a classic bit from years ago came about. He was interviewing a shipwreck expert about the tragedy of the Edmund Fitzgerald, and this is just something that has to be heard to even be understood. What makes this whole thing even more bizarre, is the call that Mischke receives after replaying the old interview. An extremely irate listener is none too happy with Mischke and isn't afraid to let him know it. 13:00

Get in Here Ya Bitch! During this odd call, we learn all about a particular, endearing term that the Mischke family often made use of. 5:14

The Very First Joe Call I'm happy to present a call from the very beginnings of the Mischke Broadcast -- way back in 1994 -- the very first year the program was aired. I'm working with a fellow in Nebraska to try and preserve as much as we can from the earliest days of the Mischke Broadcast. Back in these ancient days, I was a fan of the program but not recording. Luckily, this fellow was, but the bad part was that he was (and still is) located in Nebraska. That means the quality of these recordings varies from night to night -- depending on the fickle conditions of the ionosphere. Regardless, he's got around a hundred of these early broadcasts and we're working on digitizing each one of them. The particular call I'm presenting here is quite interesting because I believe it to be the very first "Joe Call" -- yes, Joe the fellow that tends to have a few and then calls in. What is very strange about this call is that Joe goes by the name of "Tom" and Mischke doesn't question him on it -- which leads me to believe it had to be Joe's first call. Once you've heard Joe's distinctive voice, it would be hard not to recognize it when you heard it again. Now why does Joe go by the name of "Tom"? Hard to say. I figure it is either his real name or perhaps he was in a bit of a stupor when he called in and confused his own name with Mischke's. Regardless, it is a call worth listening to, once you get past the staticy, rough start to the audio. 3:50 A special thanks goes out to Michael for this sound byte!!

The Radio Business A caller questions Mischke on why he sticks with such a station as AM 1500 KSTP. He feels AM 1500 is a hack, right wing station and that Mischke could find a much better home -- one that would make much more sense for his style of radio. Tom finds himself irked by such a line of thought and goes on to explain how he thanks his lucky stars that he even continues to have a job at KSTP. 8:00

Bombpops in the Freezer Some of the strangest things can blow up in your freezer... 0:35

Sam Hawk This is just a typical call from Sam Hawk -- a regular caller who has been a part of the Mischke Broadcast for years. Sam is a Native American and a dear friend of Tommy's who has been there through the good times and especially through the bad. 8:50

Dancing with Sluts In tonight's Dear Abby, we find a poor fellow who wants nothing more than to go out dancing with his lovely bride.3:34

Right on Time Tommy If you've ever listened to that freak Joe Soucheray, you realize that he is a little anal about getting things done in a timely fashion. If you've ever listened to that freak Tommy Mischke, you realize he is a little lackadaisical about getting things done in a timely fashion. 0:28

Fly Up -- Straight Up Mischke imagines what would happen if a commercial pilot suddenly decided to fly his plane up -- straight up. 1:39

Nancy with the News Wildcat Fox shows up to put on a newscast, but instead we hear poor ol' North Dakota getting ripped up one side and down the other. 10:59

Polish Food During this call, we finally learn what happened to the old fashioned Pollock jokes. 2:01

Can You Hear That?! Mischke's having some strange problems with the phone. 0:54

You Better Go with Homestead Yet another tale of what can happen if you don't go with Homestead. 0:56

When NOT to Call an Ambulance Londoners are having a problem figuring out which situations require a call for an ambulance. Tommy tries to give them a few pointers for future reference. 4:14

Undertaker Fred -- Doing What He Can This is just another fun call with Undertaker Fred. It's always hard to categorize these things because each of his calls usually go off in about 80 different directions. The only things you can count on are a few jokes and always a song. 11:24

A Message for Mischke A listener calls in with an important message for Mischke. 1:27

The Mischke Broadcast is Going Online Well over a decade ago, Mischke was talking about an "interactive medium" that he often read about. That "interactive medium" turned out to be the world wide web and in this clip, Tom jokes about how the Mischke Broadcast is going "online". Oddly enough, the Broadcast did go online and these days, Mischke is one of the most well-represented talk show hosts on the internet. 0:40

Mischke on the Lam The latest episode in a series of excellent commercials for R. F. Moeller Jewelers. 1:00

A Postage Protest The post office has the hutzpuh to raise the price of stamps yet once again, but Mischke isn't going to take it. 4:28

Gullible's Travels (The COMPLETE Version) One of my favorite tracks off of the official "Best Of" Mischke CD is one entitled "Gullible's Travels". For a couple of reasons, the original bit had to be edited down for the CD release. First of all, it ran a little too long to be included in its entirety; but second of all, there were some awkward things mentioned that were probably deemed to be in "too poor of taste" for a general release. Now you can finally hear these extra five minutes that were edited out. As for the stuff in poor taste, a few might take it in the wrong way, but I think it only enhances the hilarity of the bit. 16:27

Bob Berglund's Back! Tom is a little too excited that Bob Berglund is back. 1:07

Commercial Overload Due to a non-stop barrage of Christmas commercials, Mischke finally goes over the deep end. 1:45

School for the Deaf The Rhode Island School for the Deaf has had more than its fair share of seriously twisted directors. 1:38

Give Me My Money! Tom helpfully suggests a few things you might want to say when calling Homestead Mortgage. 3:42

Typical Mischke Callers After listening to this sound byte, you soon realize that the typical caller to the Mischke Broadcast is your atypical kind of person. Wait... your atypical caller is typical... Does that even make sense?! No. Typical. 5:15

Tommy and Undertaker Fred This is just a classic Undertaker Fred call from almost a decade ago, back in 1997. 15:37

Mamby Pamby Milktoast Mama's Boy A man finds himself torn between his mother and his wife. 5:18

What is Reality? Bob calls in to joke around with Mischke, but little does he realize that his call to a po-dunk station in fly-over land, is about to lead into a heavy discussion about the very make-up of reality itself. 15:38

Music Freaks Mischke mocks the freaks that are so anal about their music that they feel the need to hermetically seal and alphabetize each and every one of their CD's. Of course, I'm guilty of being one of these very freaks and Tom is only giving voice to the very same argument that I've heard from my own wife for years...1:02

Tell 'em the Rook Sent Ya! Tom decides to give Homestead Mortgage a call to tell them that "the Rook sent him". But of course, it is late at night, the offices are closed and this forces Tom to take on the horrors of attempting to navigate his way through a voice-mail system. 4:04

The Poor Postal Worker's Plight Today's modern day postal worker has to put up with a lot of crap -- the endless jokes, cruel stereotypes and your basic mean-spirited derogatory comments. I am proud to count myself among the ranks of America's postal workers and I am even more proud to see Tommy come rushing to our defense. Mischke is sickened and appalled by the abuse heaped upon myself and countless other co-workers. Mischke has had enough and today, he drew a line in the sand. 6:08

Tiny Tim This is a portion of a classic interview with one of the most eccentric personalities of the past century -- Tiny Tim.8:35

Agoraphobia Humor A little bit of humor for those afraid to leave the house. 1:17

Radio Chemistry T.D. finds just the right "chemistry" to get the job done -- much to the chagrin of a very concerned lady. 4:09

Tommy's Going to Hell Undertaker Fred has been calling in to the Mischke Broadcast since the day I can't remember when. You might notice a couple of things during these calls: one, Fred always sings a song -- and two, Fred is always working on "saving" Tommy's soul. During this conversation, Mischke asks Fred to relax the preaching a little and just try to accept the fact that he (Tom Mischke) is going to Hell. 9:22

College Speech Back in the late '90's, Mischke gave a commencement speech for a graduating college class. Of course, the whole thing was a bit, but the advice Mischke doles out is actually better than the real thing. If you're graduating from college this Spring, just skip the ceremonies and give a listen to this bit instead. 11:19

Special Note: If anyone out there has some recordings of the show that Tom Mischke and Don Vogel used to put out together, I would love to grab a copy if at all possible I was a big fan of The Afternoon Saloon and never got the chance to hear Tommy and Don working together I think that must have been an incredible show Just click on this webmaster link to send me an e-mail.

Or, if you'd rather just talk to Mischke about some of the sound bytes above, or about weather in Buckman, Minnesota, or about how grass makes a different sound when you walk on it at varying temperatures, or just about anything else--you can click on the T.D. Mischke link to send him an e-mail.